If you would have told me that the very first Extreme Rules PPV didn't happen until 2009, I wouldn't have believed you. I mean, didn't they do this sort of "every match is a stipulation match" show in 06'? In 07'? Maybe even earlier sometime in 04' or 05' during the Ruthless Aggression Era? What about those WWECW pay-per-views?
But, no, this was it. The first actual Extreme Rules pay-per-view, occurring years after ECW had been relaunched in a form that was at least slightly similar to its original incarnation and then changed completely into something like if Main Event was its own brand.
The show kicks off with United States Champion Kofi Kingston defending his title in a 4-way match against William Regal, Matt Hardy, and MVP. This is one of those matches where the individual ingredients are all good, but the completed recipe is muddled and forgettable. Regal, Hardy, and MVP were all - if I'm not mistaken - heels coming into this match, but instead of teaming up on Kingston or even playing up MVP and Hardy's history, this is just unremarkable match, full of action but nothing that I would consider "must watch," even if you're a huge Regal fan. (2.5/5)
Next up, a somewhat legendary match between Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho. The build-up for this feud was interesting as Jericho was arguably at his heel peak after a stellar feud with Shawn Michaels in 2008. Jericho was highly motivated at this point in his WWE run, possibly because he'd been shuffled back down the card after being arguably the best performer on either roster for a good while (and having to not only drop the title to Cena in his big comeback match at Survivor Series 2008 but also put him over strong a month later in under 15 minutes at Armageddon). And so, Jericho sparked this feud by making his intention - to de-mask Mysterio - clear, attacking him on his way to the ring in a memorable segment on SmackDown. Their match at the previous show, Judgment Day, was well-received, but doesn't have the reputation of this one. Jericho cuts a promo on the way to the ring to get even more heat on himself and Mysterio brings a ton of energy too, these two wasting no time in making this more like a fight than a technical wrestling contest. Having had a match built around finishers in May, I like that this one gets right to the point and is less about the Intercontinental Championship and more about Jericho just wanting to embarrass Mysterio and de-mask him. Lots of good high-flying from both guys, these two making a strong case for the idea that while their movesets might have been a bit flashier 10 years prior, their storytelling and ability to keep the crowd on the edge of their seat with hard-hitting cut-offs was never better. When the match enters the final stretch, we get an awesome sequence that ends with Jericho countering a Rey splash from the ropes into a Codebreaker - a brilliant counter that doesn't feel forced because these two have such a vast history - and then grabbing a chair because, hey, this is a No DQ match (one aspect that I wish would've come into play a little bit earlier). Mysterio doesn't stay down, though, even using the chair to help him escape the Walls of Jericho. Mysterio attempts a roll-up, but Jericho, in a marvelous act of cunning, pulls Mysterio's mask off and gets the pin himself to win his 9th Intercontinental Championship. I don't see this as the all-time classic that some peg it as, but its still a "should see." (4/5)
CM Punk vs. Umaga in a Samoan Strap Match followed. Another good-not-great match that suffers a bit from a crowd that's not super invested, no real stakes (why didn't they put Punk's Briefcase on the line?), and some clunky production and overcomplicated rules. I'll also readily admit that, having seen what CM Punk could do in Ring of Honor with similar stipulations, this match doesn't come off as nearly violent enough to make it memorable. Granted, keeping it PG was likely the marching orders given so its not like Punk and Umaga were given the free reign needed to make this match as brutal as it needed to be to get the gimmick over, but it does show - again - how clever Jericho and Mysterio were to not lean into their No DQ gimmick (knowing full well that they couldn't deliver on it). There are undeniable pluses to this match, though - the realistic struggle and notable lack of "cooperation" throughout the contest, the action-packed pacing, Umaga's always-awesome heel kicks, and a strong, clever finish that allows Umaga to save face a little bit as, despite getting hit with the Go To Sleep, Punk almost falls into the fourth corner by accident. (3/5)
This was followed an ECW Championship bout with Christian defending the title against Jack Swagger and Tommy Dreamer (with the added stipulation that if Dreamer lost, he'd be forced to retire). I'm a big Christian fan and particularly loved his ECW run as the ace of the brand, but I was less enthralled by Dreamer by this point and, while I definitely saw the potential in Swagger, re-watching him with 2021 eyes reveals that he didn't quite have "it." The crowd was into this storyline, though, which makes it work more than any particularly great sequence or performance. In ends in under 10 minutes, which just goes to show that even though Dreamer's victory was a crowd-pleaser and treated, on commentary at least, as a big deal, this was in no way seen as a "big match" on equal footing to the other World Championship contests. A year after this, due mostly to Edge's unexpected retirement, Christian would win his first "real" World Heavyweight Championship. Anyway, another good-not-great match that is helped a bit by a hot crowd and a feel-good finish. (3/5)
The Triple H/Henry Godwinn Hog Pen Match from the 90s is one of those matches that - on paper - shouldn't work at all but is actually quite good, arguably one of Triple H's best matches under his original Blue Blood persona. This Hog Pen Match - Santina (aka Santino Marella in drag) vs. Vickie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero is unfunny and not only a show low-point but maybe a low point of Guerrero, Chavo, and Santino's respective careers even if it may have seemed "fun" at the time. There is "fun," there is clever, there is interesting - this was none of those things, just bad, bad comedy that made me feel slightly ashamed for watching wrestling. What person over the age of 12 would see this and want to admit he was a wrestling fan? (0/5)
Randy Orton defends the WWE Championship against his former friend Batista in a Steel Cage Match next. Batista had been feuding with Orton and his Legacy stable for several months by this point, having squared off in November and December of 2008 (with Batista getting written off TV via an Orton punt in mid-December [he was really recovering from a hamstring injury]). What doesn't work about this match is that, by this point, Orton may have had the WWE Championship, but having lost to Triple H at WrestleMania XXV, he'd lost some credibility and the feud with Batista came off exactly like what it was - reheated leftovers from 5 months earlier. This match is a real disappointment and runs just 7 minutes. I get that Orton is supposed to be a chickenshit heel, but this still felt too one-sided considering that we're talking about Randy Orton, not just some midcard heel or undersized big mouth. (1.5/5)
In a match set-up that almost seems like a rib, John Cena took on Big Show in a Submission Match next, the story being that Cena was unable to lock in the STF in their previous match. At Backlash, a few months before this, Big Show had chokeslammed Cena into a huge spotlight in one of the most memorable visuals of Cena and Show's respective careers. However, that moment ended up being the peak of this rivalry as Cena and Show were unable to put on any great matches together. They get plenty of time here, arguably too much time, the match running nearly 20 minutes of fairly repetitive action built around the idea that Cena is unable to lock in the STF. What saves the match from being completely forgettable is the finish: Cena using the bottom rope to help him apply his finisher and forcing Big Show to tap. Big Show is made to look somewhat strong in this match, but you can't make up for years and years of Show not being treated like a top guy and expect a match like this to have a "big fight feel." (2/5)
Main event time - Edge vs. Jeff Hardy in a Ladder Match for Edge's World Heavyweight Championship. This is an odd match in that all the ingrediants are there for this to be an all-time classic or at least something on par with the Jericho/HBK Ladder Match from 08' or the Cena/Edge TLC match from 2006. Hardy and Edge have good chemistry. The crowd is fully into it. There are all sorts of innovative and cool ladder spots. They get plenty of time. So why does this match not achieve greatness? Its hard to put one's finger on it, but I'll at least note some of the things that prevented it from really clicking with me - first, despite all the wild spots, there's not necessarily an escalation of violence. The fact that neither man was likely permitted to "get color" also hurt things despite both guys also, very obviously, taking tremendous and ultimately career-shortening bumps (Edge would retire due to spine issues just 2 years later). Second, while the Edge/Vickie Guerrero had run its course by then (and the Jeff/Matt feud had also ended), there's a bit of a lack of "fuckery" that usually comes with a big WWE Main Event Match, something they even tease with the meaningless ref bump late in the match. As much as I like a good, clean finish (and this finish was both of those things), there's also something slightly underwhelming with the lack of "guest stars." Yes, this was designed to be a straight-up fight between two long-time rivals, but there's an unmistakable sense of something missing, some greater irony, some "Twist of Fate" if you will, that could've given Edge a greater comeuppance and Jeff Hardy a bigger moment (the fact that Hardy had won the title in December also made this victory seem less important). Maybe Vickie interfering but getting knocked out by Lita? Or Matt Hardy, who cost Hardy the World Title at the Royal Rumble, trying to screw him again but failing this time? Or Matt interfering, but then getting stopped by Edge's former partner Christian? It just seems like Edge and Hardy were given no marching orders aside from just having a great ladder match and, while they delivered the big spots and hard hits, they didn't delve as deep into their long and storied history to create an ending worthy of their characters. (3.5/5)
While Hardy is selling the damage from the match, CM Punk shows up, cashes in his briefcase, and catches Jeff with the GTS for the 1...2....no! Hardy kicked out! Punk looks mildly frustrated and nearly gets pinned by an inside cradle before hitting Hardy with another GTS to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. I really liked this ending because Punk doesn't just go full heel mode. He celebrates because he's proud of winning the title and cashing in at the right time, but its not like he starts mocking Hardy or berating the audience or anything. A well-executed cash-in that leaves the crowd shocked and halfway between booing and cheering. (+1)
With a Kwang Score of 2.56-out-of-5, Extreme Rules 2009 is a middling show thanks to its clear highs - the Jericho/Mysterio match and the main event - and equally identifiable lows (the Vickie/Santina "match," underwhelming Batista/Orton squash, and surprisingly lengthy Big Show/Cena match). While fans of Jericho, Mysterio, Jeff Hardy, and even CM Punk will find things to enjoy about this match, I'd still not necessarily point to this show as featuring any of these guys' best work making it hard to recommend over 10 years later.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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