Its been many a year since I saw this pay-per-view, though, if my memory serves correct, I watched this live when I was just 6 years old.
The show kicks off with The Ultimate Warrior, Legion of Doom, and Texas Tornado taking on Mr. Perfect and all three members of Demolition (Ax, Smash, and Crush). The Ultimate Warrior was the WWE World Champion at the time, but by this point, I believe McMahon was already looking for a way to have him drop the title as, and I could be wrong, business fell a little bit once Hogan was moved out of the main event. The Legion of Doom were relative newcomers to the WWE but were already being positioned as the future WWE World Tag Team Champions on commentary. This was Bill "Ax" Eadie's last match in the WWE as he was being prepped to take a backstage role (due to health issues) but ended up just being released (and wrestling in Japan and on the independent scene for another 20+ years). Speaking of Ax, he's the first man eliminated. The rest of Demolition and the Road Warriors are eliminated after another couple of minutes of unremarkable action as the ref gets caught in the scruff and DQ's both sides. This was likely done to protect Demolition and build towards what should've been a big money match with the Road Warriors...but as has been chronicled and discussed ad nauseum elsewhere, Vince was so dead-set on not giving any credibility to the NWA that he barely ever booked any of the "dream matches" that he could've in the early 90s (for example, keeping Demolition/LOD on TV and barely ever having them work with the Hart Foundation or The Rockers). This leaves Mr. Perfect alone with Texas Tornado and Ultimate Warrior. He manages to eliminate Tornado after a Perfect-Plex, but even after dropping the Warrior head-first onto an exposed turnbuckle and delivering a Perfect-Plex immediately after, the Warrior won't stay down and eventually gets the W with a flying shoulder tackle. The crowd was as revved up for this as one would expect when you consider the star power of the babyface side, but that doesn't make this a great match or anything. I wasn't bored by it, but I wouldn't look here for great character work or technical wrestling. (2/5)
The next match is all about the reveal of team captain Ted DiBiase's mystery man - The Undertaker (who is partnered up with Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine, aka "Rhythm & Blues) to take on The Hart Foundation, Dusty Rhodes, and Koko B. Ware. Rhodes had been feuding with Ted DiBiase for close to a year by this point (if not longer?), but would be out of the company after January's Royal Rumble. This is a more interesting match than a good match because we have The Undertaker debuting and destroying Koko B. Ware (and Gorilla Monsoon refering to Taker's piledriver as a "tombstone" despite this being his debut match) and then, not too long after, pinning Dusty Rhodes with a flying clothesline off the top rope (which, had this happened in the NWA anytime in the 80s, would've been a huge, huge deal but is glossed over here), Bret Hart getting some shine as the match progresses years before he would be a top guy, and Ted DiBiase getting one of his last truly significant, spotlight victories as a singles competitor after a hell-of-a-run in the 80s. Like the rest of the matches on the card, this one doesn't run long enough to lose your attention at any point either (the whole show clocks in something like 2.5 hours, which is basically the length of a pre-show these days). (3/5)
The Survivors Matches continue with Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Jimmy Snuka, and The Rockers taking on "The Model" Rick Martel, The Warlord, and Power & Glory (Paul Roma and Hercules). If you had looked at this card and seen the star power in some of these other matches, you would've never thought that this match would get the amount of time it does. Up to this point, this is the clear "match of the night" in terms of action, storytelling, and psychology. The build-up for this match was all about the underrated Roberts/Martel feud (which saw Rick Martel spray Roberts in the eyes with his "Arrogance" perfume) and would eventually lead to a Blindfold Match at WrestleMania VII. The crowd goes wild any time it looks like The Snake might get his hands on The Model. The Rockers and Power and Glory get to showcase some great-for-the-time (well, great for any time really) tag team maneuvers that Piper goes insane for. Jannetty is the first man eliminated when Warlord hits him with a devastating power slam. The Warlord was never anything more than a lower midcard guy, but credit where its due, he had a good look and he what he did well enough. Michaels comes in and gets beaten down for a spell, further drawing the fans into the match. Snuka comes in to a very respectable reaction - something that remained true for him for years whenever he'd make his random appearances in the WWE during the mid-90s. He gets eliminated by Martel, though, and its now a 4-on-2 situation. Michaels is the next to go when Power and Glory deliver an AWESOME double-team move where Hercules delivers a superplex only for Roman to come off the top with a splash. Michaels bumping and selling during this match were "Flair-esque" and really stood out on this show. Like the previous bout, one has to wonder if Vince saw Michaels', Bret's, and Taker's performance and knew that they would basically be the flagbearers in a few short years. Jake ends up hitting the DDT on The Warlord, but the ref gets distracted and Martel rushes in with the perfume bottle. He tries to spray it in Roberts' eyes, but The Snake blocks it and chases him out of the ring (and is subsequently counted out). Because it was given time and the performers all worked well together, this was great fun. (3.5/5)
Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, and The Big Bossman took on Earthquake, Haku, Dino Bravo, and The Barbarian. Haku was out first, followed by Jim Duggan, who got DQ'd for using the 2x4. Dino Bravo gets taken out from an inside cradle by Hogan. Who said the Hulkster only knew 3 moves? The best spot of the match happens not too long after as Earthquake comes in and goes at it with Big Bossman. Bossman flies from the top rope with a clothesline but Quake catches him and looks to bring him down with a slam only for Hogan to interfere. The Barbarian jumps in the fray and when the smoke clears, Earthquake has eliminated the man from Cobb County. Its now 2-on-2 and Tugboat has yet to enter the match. When he does come in, he and Earthquake end up brawling to the back, eliminating eachother via count-out. After some perfunctory action, Hulk does his usual Hulk Up routine - I'm surprised they didn't save that for the finale - and gets the W over Barbarian. No shock there. Hogan is over enough to keep the crowd into this match, Duggan gets to go after Jimmy Hart with a 2x4, and Earthquake gets at least a little bit of shine, but there's nothing special here to see. (1.5/5)
Randy Savage comes out to cut a promo and its a doozy. I like how Savage plants the seeds for his eventual Retirement Match at WrestleMania VII, stating that after he beats the Ultimate Warrior to take back the World Championship, he might just pack it in.
Savage's awesome promo ability is juxtaposed with the arrival of Sgt. Slaughter, who had just begun his heel run as an Iraqi Sympathizer, and was now backed-up by manager General Adnan and teaming here with fellow anti-American heels Boris Zukhov and The Orient Express (Akio Sata and Hawaiian-born Pat Tanaka). Their opponents are Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, and The Bushwhackers, or basically a team of undercard babyfaces that seemed to have no chance of winning. Before the match, Slaughter cuts an absolutely abysmal promo to get even more heat from the crowd and also bore the hell out of anyone viewing at home. It really is just an awful, awful promo. When the action starts, things don't get any better. Santana eliminates Zukhov in under a minute and then Sato is eliminated by Bushwhacker Butch soon after. Tanaka gets the outs soon after and Slaughter is left all alone. Now here's where things get interesting because Slaughter, I'm guessing, was already being penciled-in for a major heel run against Warrior and Hogan for as long as the conflict between the US and Iraq continued. But instead of really shining, he is completely exposed here as not only an awful worker, but not a great strategist (seeing as his entire team was eliminated in something like 5 minutes). While Slaughter does manage to score three eliminations, they are so pathetic and pitiful to watch, its amazing that Vince decided to go forward with Slaughter as the next WWE Champion when they could've easily had Slaughter "brainwash" a younger, better, more impressive wrestler and have him wrestle in the main event of WrestleMania VII. I guess Slaughter had the name recognition? The experience? The finish comes when Slaughter gets DQ'd. Really bad stuff all around. (0/5)
Speaking of really bad stuff, the Gobbeldy Gooker hatches out of the giant mystery egg and immediately gets booed. This segment goes on and on and is just atrocious. It is particularly hard to listen to Roddy Piper feign excitement, clearly getting told what to say by Vince McMahon backstage and trying to make a chocolate sundae out of 2 scoops of dogshit. I'm not sure what's worse - the Gobbeldy Gooker's reveal or everything Sgt. Slaughter did on this show.
After yet another round of pre-match promos, its main event time - Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, and Tito Santana vs. Ted DiBiase, "The Model" Rick Martel, The Warlord, and Power and Glory (Paul Roma and Hercules). The story coming into this match is that the babyfaces are out-manned 5-to-3 and there is the lingering question about whether Hogan and Warrior can get along, mentioned by Ted DiBiase but never really played-up on commentary because, back in the early 90s, it went without saying that all the good guys got along and the heels were evil but greedy and untrustworthy. The Warlord gets pinned in under a minute in almost identical fashion as how Tito Santana caught Boris Zhukov. I'd give credit to Vince and Tito (and Pat Patterson?) for this being a "call back," but I'm not sure this was intentional as much as the marching orders were to get some of these guys out of the ring as quickly as possible before the fans realize just how little they could actually do in the ring. Santana doesn't last too much longer himself, eliminated by DiBiase. DiBiase was set to challenge Warrior for the title the next night on TV so I guess there might have been some chance they would do a big angle on this show and make it look like DiBiase might actually be the next WWE Champion? No? Not at all? Okay. Hogan bulldozes through Roma and the cowardly Martel ends up running to the back rather than face Warrior and Hogan (despite the heels still being up 3-on-2 at this point). Hogan drops the leg on DiBiase to finish him off and then tags in Warrior to hit his flying shoulder block and big splash on Hercules to wrap this match up in under 10 minutes. People wax poetic about the "old days" of wrestling but a match like this is a good example of just how predictable, boring, and uninspired the matches could be and that's without mentioning things like "workrate" and realism and athleticism. (1/5)
For fans of late 80s/early 90s nostalgia, Survivor Series 90' might seem like it could be a great viewing experience, but most of the matches are sub-average and the most talented workers on the card - Ted DiBiase, Rick Martel, The Rockers, Bret Hart, and Mr. Perfect - spend most of the evening making the muscle freaks look good rather than actually showcasing their own agility, speed, and technical skills. There are some great moments sprinkled throughout the show - the debut of the Undertaker, the surprisingly sweet teamwork of Power and Glory, the aforementioned spotlight moments for Hart and Michaels - but there's also some of the worst "action" I've seen in at least a couple years as well (Sgt. Slaighter) as some really poor non-wrestling segments (Sgt. Slaughter again and the Gobbeldy Gooker). If you're looking for a fun show that features a near-identical cast of stars, WrestleMania VI features an all-time classic main event, a very good DiBiase/Roberts match, and some fun stuff in Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire taking on Savage and Sherri, as well as some "Mania moments" with Andre's last WWE match and Piper coming out in half-blackface. The wrestling isn't great on this show, but because so few matches go longer than 5-6 minutes, it never gets boring either. With a Kwang Score of 1.83-out-of-5, this one is a...
FINAL RATING - DUDleyville
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