SummerSlam 2009 kicks off with the Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio defending the title against Dolph Ziggler. For an opener, this is a strong start to the show - Mysterio was on fire in 2009, putting on some really good matches against everyone from Chris Jericho on PPV to Evan Bourne and John Morrison on TV to Batista at the end of the year. However, in hindsight, this match comes off as a real missed opportunity. Just a week after this, Mysterio would be suspended for a Wellness Violation and drop the title to the aforementioned Morrison in one of the best matches of the year (and one I saw live). Had they known then what they would soon find out about Mysterio's violation, they could've run this exact match and given Ziggler, who was also a swiftly rising star, the strap instead. Even in a losing effort, Ziggler does an outstanding job of keeping pace with Rey, slowing things when he needs to but never losing the crowd. In fact, there are moments when Ziggler seems to have more support than Mysterio (despite this show not taking place too far from Mysterio's hometown). Still, Dolph's ability to put on good matches without actually getting decisive wins or fully embracing his heel role - its noticeable that as good as Ziggler is mechanically, he doesn't do anything truly heelish in the match - became somewhat of a curse as, for the next decade, he'd routinely find himself in the exact same position he was put here, namely to have a good match, pop the crowd with some nearfalls, but not actually get his character, personality, or motivations over. Does Ziggler want the Intercontinental Championship? His urgency says yes, the multiple pinfall attempts he makes says yes, but where's the ruthlessness? Where's the frustration with the referee not making counts fast enough? Where's the breaking point when Ziggler, out of frustration and exasperation, tries to cheat his way to victory or gets in the face of Rey's ringside supporters? Its these missing elements that separate what Ziggler was doing here and the guys he was often compared to - "Mr. Perfect" Era Curt Hennig and Shawn Michaels circa 92'. A strong opener and an interesting one to watch back knowing what we do know about where each of these guys would end up just a few weeks down the road (in the case of Rey) and a decade further for Dolph. (3/5)
After a short interview backstage, Jack Swagger and MVP head to the ring for their match. There aren't any real stakes, but I like that commentary acknowledges that this is an important match not only because of the personal animosity between the two but because the winner will be putting themselves in the mix for a title shot. The crowd is not super into this, though, and I'm not surprised - Swagger was good-not-great and, as I wrote in my review of Extreme Rules show from this year, re-watching him in 2021, you can see that there are some gaps in his work and all the talk about him being a top-level main event guy wasn't backed up by any of his actual matches. MVP, meanwhile, was a much better heel than a babyface, and because he wasn't booked all that strongly as a heel, when he did turn face, it wasn't a big deal and the audience was indifferent to it. Swagger and MVP work a decent match together but that's it. (1.5/5)
A lengthy video package highlights all the celebrity guest hosts that had been on RAW over the past few months before we get...JeriShow, the reigning Unified Tag Team Champions. Jericho cuts a promo on the celebrities in attendance to get some decent heat and demands some competition so out comes Cryme Tyme. Cryme Tyme could've been something special, but the WWE's "Creative" department was still suck in the late 90s (Don't think so? This entire show was built around the reunion of a stable from 1997) and so JTG and Shad Gaspard were playing 1-dimensional fan-friendly "gangstas" and mostly used for comedy despite JTG actually showing promise as a grappler and Gaspard being a better-than-average hot tag with quite a bit of potential himself. Unfortunately, they weren't quite there yet and this match feels like "filler" more than anything worthy of a PPV spotlight. On the plus side, the finish is great as JTG nearly escapes the Walls of Jericho by crawling to the ropes only to get hit with Show's knockout punch, which was protected as a death blow at the time. (2/5)
The show sunk even lower, though, with the next match - Kane vs. The Great Khali. Kane was a heel coming into this match, but had entered the stage of his career when he was completely irrelevant and had his only decent matches against super workers like Mysterio or bump machines like Ziggler. The Great Khali was also someone who no longer felt like a big deal because, by this point, he'd been beaten by every top guy. This match doesn't last long but the 6 minutes that it lasts are plodding and unremarkable. I'd say the right man won this match at least, but that wouldn't be true no matter who had their hand raised. A half point for this being held under 10 minutes. (0.5/5)
After a lengthy video package running through their feud, its time for DegenerationX (Shawn Michaels and Triple H) vs. The Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr.). DX get a HUGE and almost comically bloated entrance with a tank before delivering their spiel, which is arguably the single worst series of catchphrases to ever have wrestlers continue to do years after it was fresh. I mean, Triple H's line is "Let's Get Ready to Suck It!" (which implies that he and Shawn and their supporters are either going to put on a match that sucks or give fellatio) and Shawn's line is, "If you're not down with that, we got 2 words for ya' - Suck It!" (which means that if you're not into watching Triple H and Shawn do some sucking, figuratively or literally, you should be the one that does it!). It didn't make sense in the late 90s or the mid-00s (the last time DX was reunited) or in 2009, but in 2021, its not just sophomoric, its outright idiotic. As down as I am on this version of DX - and I really do think it was an awful cash grab - I must admit that this match is pretty darn good. Its not particularly innovative or as wild and fun as the Evolution/Shield matches that would come many years later, but DX and the Legacy get the basics right and sometimes that's all you need to get the crowd into a match. The pieces and parts all make sense and are well-executed, from Triple H's work as the face-in-the-peril to the Legacy fighting dirty when the ref is distracted to some of the unexpected twists in the match, including Cody Rhodes attempting a Shawn Michaels elbow drop and the Heartbreak Kid eating both a Cross Rhodes and a Dream Street towards the end. I'm not sure anyone believed that Legacy had a chance to win this match, but they weren't buried in the least either. (3.5/5)
The ECW commentary team note that our next contest is the first of three World Championship matches as Christian makes his way down the aisle to defend the title against William Regal, who is flanked by Ezekial Jackson and Vladimir Koslov. Regal had famously (or infamously?) squandered the biggest - or at least the most serious - heel push of his WWE run about a year before this when, after winning the King of the Ring tournament and feuding with Mr. Kennedy (and Triple H before that), he was suspended for his second Wellness Violation right around the time when it seemed like the RAW brand had a position open for him at the top (instead, the WWE Championship scene continued to revolve around Triple H for several very forgettable months). Anyway, by this point, Regal was really winding down as an in-ring talent and the results of this match make that 100% clear in a very disappointing way as Christian finishes off Regal in under 10 seconds with a flash Killswitch. If you give Regal and Christian the 6 minutes that Kane and Khali got, they probably could've made it work. Hell, did this show really need an ice cold MVP/Swagger bout? Or to devote so much time to showing all the celebrities in the audience? A real disappointment considering the talent level. (0/5)
John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Chamionship is next. There's something off about this match to me - it's not that it's bad, it's not that its particularly boring, but it lacks a Big Fight Feel, like it doesn't really matter who wins because, by 2009, it already felt like Same Ol' Shit with these two guys - and Triple H and Batista - basically just playing hot potato with the title despite the most interesting title reigns and feuds tended to actually feature Jericho, Edge, and, to a lesser degree, Rob Van Dam. This isn't just hindsight speaking either - the crowd isn't a rabid 50/50, its a 33/33/33 split with some of the audience seemingly totally checked out. Any suspense that this match has built up is cut off by Orton getting himself DQ'd only for Vince McMahon to restart the match via Lillian Garcia announcement. Why not actually have Vince come out? Orton tries to escape via countout next, but again, the match is restarted immediately. I guess this was all done to put heat on Orton, but it really just puts heat on the writers and bookers and talent because this match is just not living up to any sort of expectations considering these two were promoted as the two biggest stars of the company. The weird booking continues, though, as a "crazed fan" (later revealed to be Brett DiBiase, for some reason) runs in and gets taken out by all the referees. Now, this sort of thing has happened in plenty of matches before - but what's weird is how Orton plays it. Instead of immediately taking advantage of the run-in, which, knowing it is later to be revealed as Ted DiBiase's brother, means that *he orchestrated it*, he actually allows Cena time to regroup before catching him with an RKO to get the win. The timing and execution is just not good here, reminiscent of the poor acting job Shawn Michaels did at Survivor Series 96'. A disappointing match, especially considering what we know these two are capable of. (2/5)
Main event time - CM Punk challenging Jeff Hardy for the World Heavyweight Championship in a TLC Match. In 2008 and 2009, the WWE leaned heavily on ladder and TLC matches, likely because they were steering away from blood - which meant less cage, cell, and streetfight matches. Punk/Hardy was the rightful main event for this show and the crowd's enthusiasm for it blows away the reaction that Cena/Orton received. If the TLC match between Hardy and Edge from a few months prior didn't quite deliver due to a lack of heightened violence or creative storytelling, this match delivers both of those things with a finer attention to detail. CM Punk was known for having some wild, wild matches in Ring of Honor and elsewhere but had to mute those colors of his palette upon arriving in the WWE. This match feels like the closest he ever came to actually delivering the kind of hardcore, extreme action that made him a beloved cult figure prior to his jump to the "big leagues" as Punk and Hardy deliver some very stiff chair shots, throw themselves into steps and ladders with reckless abandon, and even bust out a few things that were still rare in a WWE ring at the time (including Punk dropping Hardy back-first on the standing back of a chair in a brutally simple spot that has since been mimic'd countless times). Among other great moments we also saw a Jeff Hardy powerbomb off the ladder that looked nasty, Hardy missing a splash into a table on the outside but making up for it later by dropping Punk through one that everyone (myself included) seemed to forget was standing outside the ring, and, of course, an absolutely ridiculous Swanton Bomb from a 30-foot ladder through Punk as he lay on an announcer table. If anything hurts this match, its probably that for all the thrills and spills, you don't really get as much character out of Jeff Hardy or even CM Punk as one needs to really put on an all-time great match. Punk would eventually get to show that range in his matches against John Cena and Lesnar and even the Undertaker, but Hardy, for as popular as he was and has entertaining as his offense could be, is not someone who necessarily brought the gravitas to his biggest matches that he needed to (which is why, despite winning multiple World Championships, its not like he has any particular big singles victory that brought tears to people's eyes the way guys like Michaels, Austin, Eddie, and Daniel Bryan have). Still, this is a must-see just because it is that entertaining and, pushing it over the edge, features a wonderful post-match angle and cameo from the Undertaker that, in a weird way, served as a cementing of CM Punk as SmackDown's top heel even more. (4/5)
A card featuring CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy in a TLC Match, Randy Orton vs. John Cena, Christian vs. William Regal, and Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler should be a show worth recommending, but Orton/Cena is underwhelming, Regal and Christian get less than a minute of airtime, and the rest of the show is matches that would be more fitting of a lousy episode of RAW as opposed to a show that fans, at the time, were supposed to be paying $50 to see. With a Kwang Score of 2.06-out-of-5, the only thing saving this show from DUDleyville is the exceptional main event.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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