Having seen this show more than a half dozen times over the years, I was surprised to see that I'd never "formally" reviewed it. Royal Rumble 91' took place at an interesting time in WWE history - a brief era after the Hulkamania boom of the 80s, before the major steroid scandal and eventual trial in 93'-94', a time when Vince questioned the star power of the man he'd hand-picked to succeed the Hulkster but before there was any notion (at least that I've heard) that "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair would be joining the company.
An extra point for one of my favorite wrestling things ever - Vince McMahon barking and growling out the name of all the entrants in the Rumble match. (+1)
The Rumble kicks off with The Rockers taking on The Orient Express. If I'm not mistaken, these teams had several bouts in the AWA before they both made the jump to the WWE. They clearly came into this match looking to impress and went out and had as good a tag team match as the WWE had likely seen since the glory days of the Hart Foundation and the British Bulldogs. This is the type of match that today's fans probably wouldn't be super impressed by, but at the time, this was as "cutting edge" as anything the Hardys and Edge & Christian or the Young Bucks and Motor City Machine Guns were doing 10+ years later. There is some fantastic double-team maneuvers from both sides and also some big transitions that popped the crowd huge - Jannetty taking a big fall to the outside of the top, Shawn Michaels delivering a moonsault from the second rope (Gorilla and Piper didn't even know what to call that move at this point) - but what many reviewers love to note is the clever finish, the stereo crossbodies, the double superkicks. There really is a ton of fresh, innovative (for the time) offense to be seen here. The only slow moments are when the Orient Express are in control, but, then again, this is classic pro-wrestling style as the heels are not meant to wow the crowd with their athleticism, agility, or technical prowess. As heels, their job is to get heat, cut off the babyfaces' momentum, and cheat. Their job is to slow down their flashier, hard-working opponents. Their job is to take shortcuts. The Express do all that and, because of it, the Rockers' eventual win feels hard-fought and earned. I'm not sure I'd call this a "must see" match - as much as the crowd is into it, it still feels somewhat "slight" without a proper storyline behind it and, as ahead-of-its-time as it is, its not like either team really gained anything from this - but this is a very, very good match and its totally understandable why, in some circles, this was a WWE Match of the Year contender. (3.5/5)
Next up - one of the most memorable, insane segments in WWE history as Sensational Sherri calls out the Ultimate Warrior and then basically comes on to him and seemingly offers to give him oral sex in order to get him to give Randy Savage a title shot. There are obviously some plot holes here to ignore - Why would the valiant hero turn down Randy Savage's demand for a title shot? Shouldn't he be willing to take all comers? Why wouldn't Warrior bone Sherri and then just not wrestle Savage? Why was any of this happening during the WWE's most PG era? - but this segment is so batshit insane and memorable that it is impossible not to call it shocking and entertaining even 30 years after the fact. This is chef's kiss pro-wrestling that goes beyond its shock value because every element aligned perfectly, from the Warrior's response (a loud, guttural "Nooooooo!") to Savage sprinting across the arena like a madman to Sherri's unquestionably sexy performance to the audience members in the front row chanting "Suck his dick!" until they were seemingly told to stop by some off-hand production crew member to Piper and Gorilla's seemingly 100% shoot astonishment at what they were witnessing...this is just an astounding segment that shows that, at one point, Vince was as brilliant a wrestling promoter and producer as anyone that has ever lived. (+1)
Back to the ring we go for The Barbarian vs. The Big Bossman. The Bossman had turned face since the previous Royal Rumble and was very over with the Miami crowd. The Barbarian had split with his former tag partner The Warlord and both had become singles wrestlers in 1990 but neither got too far up the ladder. This isn't a great match and would've benefitted from having a few minutes cut out of it, especially once they get to the false finishes (when each guy gets a nearfall stopped by a rope break it comes off as particularly repetitive), but its hard not to be impressed by the Bossman's quickness, agility, and selling. The Barbarian isn't nearly as captivating to watch and the bearhug segment dragging things out didn't help. Still, this was the "house style" of the WWE at the time and the crowd was engaged by the end, though I think this match would've benefitted from more involvement by Bobby Heenan on the outside. (2/5)
After some promos by the combatants, its time for our WWF Championship - The Ultimate Warrior defending the gold against Sgt. Slaughter. From a wrestling standpoint, this is pretty lousy. Warrior was very limited in what he could do but, paired against agile guys that could bump and sell for him - like Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, and Randy Savage - he was capable of putting on a decent 10-minute match. Unfortunately for viewers, Sgt. Slaughter was not an agile, energetic bump machine in 1991 or at any point in his career. Slaughter gets dominated early by Warrior's rather thin offense (shoulder tackles, clotheslines, etc.) until Sensational Sherri shows up and distracts him. Considering Vince expected Slaughter to headline WrestleMania, he really comes across as a very weak and non-dangerous villain in this match. When Warrior chases Sherri, Savage appears and strikes near the entrance. People might criticize the fact that this should've led to a DQ, but I like the execution as Savage's attack does occur far from the ring and this was at a time when the WWE didn't have a huge video screens that would've made it impossible for the ref not to see what happened. Anyway, Savage strikes Warrior with a lighting fixture which leads to the Warrior having to crawl his way back to the ring. From here, we actually get at least a touch of actual wrestling as Slaughter works on Warrior's back. Its not the most exciting in-ring work you'll ever see, but at least it makes logical sense that he would target the Warrior's back to soften him for his Camel Clutch finisher with a pair of backbreakers, a series of stomps, and the dreaded (and dreadfully-executed?) bearhug. There's a putrid sequence in which Slaughter applies the Clutch while half of Warrior's body is practically hanging out of the ring that makes the ref look completely incompetent but, again, this was typical of the WWE's "house style" in the 90s. Warrior rallies and Slaughter is made to look weak again until Sherri and Savage show up for the second time. Warrior press slams Sherri from in the ring into the arms of Savage on the floor, which gets a huge reaction. Savage then strikes Warrior with his scepter, which allows Slaughter to get the cheap pin. As a wrestling match, this was not good, but from a storyline perspective, it was undeniably successful. The audience loses their shit when Slaughter gets the pin and is announced as the champion. The Warrior and Savage stuff also got nuclear heat and pivoted Warrior away from the championship without it seeming like he was being "demoted" (which he inarguably was by this point). (3/5)
The crowd is basically dead for the next match - The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware. Its weird: Vince McMahon clearly wanted to push The Mountie as he gets a spotlight singles match on this show and gets another big win at WrestleMania VII, but this match goes needlessly long (9 minutes that feel like 19) and Jacques Rougeau was now wrestling a way less interesting style than he did as one half of the Fabulous Rougeaus. Koko B. Ware was capable of much better work himself, but these two just didn't click on this night. Having to wrestle in front of a thoroughly deflated crowd who had just seen an Iraqi sympathizer win the World Championship was going to be a tough job, but they don't rise to the challenge here. (0.5/5)
After some promos by Macho Man and then Sgt. Slaughter, we get a video package of fans sending their love and support to the men and women fighting overseas in Desert Storm. Of all the WWE shows, even the post-9/11 ones, Royal Rumble 91' might be the most jingoistic in company history as Piper and Monsoon bring up the conflict in nearly every single match multiple times. You throw in all the flag-tearing (that would be the Iraqi flag) and flag-waving (Hogan) and it actually becomes humorous how much Vince was banking in patriotism to carry the company to a record-setting WrestleMania VII (and how secretly pissed he must've been when the conflict ended months before the show and Sgt. Slaughter's gimmick became as relevant a gimmick as the anti-US Soviet did in the 90s). There's also the annual pre-Rumble promo package where nearly every entrant gets to share their thoughts and hype up the match. This is another tradition I really wish the WWE would've kept over the years.
Back to the ring we go for "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Virgil vs. the father-and-son team of Dusty Rhodes and Dustin Rhodes. I remember the build-up to this match vividly, but forgot how much Piper was involved prior to the angle that happens at the end of the match. On commentary, well before the bell rings, Piper talks about having dinner with Virgil and trying to convince him to leave DiBiase. Speaking of Piper, while he was never as great on commentary as Jesse Ventura or The Brain, his enthusiasm and energy during this match really helps sell the drama. Dusty and Dustin's story is undeniably overshadowed by the DiBiase/Virgil tension, but this is still some really smart booking and, in 91', its not like Dusty Rhodes still (or Dustin yet) had the ability to put on a really great wrestling contest. Instead, like the Slaughter/Warrior match (but even shorter), this one is all about the story and the story is fantastic. Dustin wrestles the bulk of the match and sustains a knee injury for his effort, Dusty does eventually get the hot tag, but DiBiase is the man who comes out the strongest - which was the right call to make considering that he was the most credible in-ring performer in the match from a technical standpoint (Dusty having spent the vast majority of his WWE run as a "fun babyface" midcard act). DiBiase gets the win despite a miscommunication with Virgil and then, in one of the hottest angles of 91', demands that Virgil put the Million Dollar Belt around his waist. The heat that DiBiase gets here is astounding and Virgil, upon striking him with the belt instead, got a massive pop from the crowd. As a whole presentation, this is a remarkable "must watch" segment that could likely never be replicated again in an age when pro-wrestling storylines move so quickly (though the on-going Bloodline drama might be have me eating my words depending on how things play out). (4/5)
The Royal Rumble match is next and while it is justifiably not as heralded as the following year's edition, this still stands as a very, very good Rumble and maybe even in the top 10. There are a number of cool moments spread throughout the match and major storylines are advanced to help set-up WrestleMania. Bret Hart, Rick Martel, and Greg Valentine all get to shine and help "carry" the match (though there's not a ton of actual wrestling to be seen here or in most Rumbles) as the Ironmen of the contest. Randy Savage doesn't enter the match, but because he appeared in the show in multiple other spots it doesn't feel like a cop out and his non-involvement does play more into the night's angles with Warrior. The Undertaker gets some eliminations, but I was surprised he didn't actually wipe out even more combatants - maybe Vince still wasn't sure just how far he wanted to push the Deadman at this point as Taker had only been with the company for a couple months at this point? His elimination by both Road Warriors is a cool moment. Other highlights include seeing Jake Roberts take the fight to Rick Martel to keep their feud going (they would eventually have a Blindfold Match at WrestleMania), Hulk Hogan eliminating his best friend Tugboat, and some good work out of a number of guys you may not have expected it from like Paul Roma and the British Bulldog. There's also the wonderful Bushwhacker Luke spot to watch out for, a moment that, to me, was executed so perfectly that no matter how many times they've attempted (and succeeded) at setting a new "shortest time in the Rumble" record, it will never be as good as Luke's elimination in this match. The finish tied a bow on the Hogan/Earthquake feud that had gone on in the summer/fall of 1990 and while Hogan's victory was predictable, any other finish wouldn't have made a ton of sense. As is often the case in these sorts of matches, there are some inexplicable moments in which a wrestler will "save" another wrestler from an elimination that seem to be at odd ends with the very concept of the match, but that lack of consistent psychology has always been a valid criticism of the Rumble match (and one that more and more wrestlers have been trying to remedy as the years go by). All in all, a quality Rumble that made up for its lack of huge star power - DiBiase, Savage, Warrior, Slaughter, nor Dusty pull double-duty - with storyline progression, good performances, and clever spacing of the few big names (Hogan, Jake the Snake, Earthquake, Mr. Perfect) they did have at their disposal. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 3-out-of-5, the 91' Royal Rumble is arguably the first truly great Rumble in the company's history, often overshadowed by the all-time great edition in 92' and several other excellent Rumbles since. However, what sets this show apart is that, aside from the unworthy Mountie/Ware match (which was kept off the Coliseum Home Video release but is kept on the show if you're catching this on Peacock/WWE Network) and the slightly sub-average Bossman/Barbarian match, everything else on the show is good-to-great. Some critics consider the opener to be a WWE Match of the Year contender and the multiple Savage/Warrior segments and interactions on this show are some of the best the WWE produced in this decade (or really any decade). The fact that that the US was engaged in combat gives the show a unique cultural backdrop too, even if all the jingoism turns your stomach. The Rumble match itself has been unfairly derided for lacking enough big stars, but its not like the rest of the show lacks big names from the 80s and 90s as Piper, Hogan, the Undertaker, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Ted DiBiase, the Legion of Doom, and Dusty Rhodes are all spotlighted in one way or another. An interesting, fun, and consistently entertaining show.
FINAL RATING - Watch It
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