Sunday, June 4, 2023

WWE WrestleMania III

WWE WrestleMania III
Detroit, MI - March 1987

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, the WWE World Heavyweight Champion was Hulk Hogan, the Intercontinental Champion was Randy "The Macho Man" Savage, and the WWE Tag Team Champions were the Hart Foundation.

WrestleMania III opens up - somewhat famously - with Aretha Franklin singing "America The Beautiful" for the massive crowd in Detroit. Its an all-time great performance so its getting a plus point. (+1)

The first match on the card pits the Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and the pre-Z-Man Tom Zenk) against "Cowboy" Bob Orton and "The Magnificent" Don Muraco. For a match that only goes 6 minutes, this is some efficient storytelling and wrestling and I absolutely dug this match. Rick Martel shows great babyface fire and the crowd is super into it. This isn't long enough to be considered a great match, but its a fine opener for a show like this and really shows how competent everyone was back then at playing their specific roles in order to get a match over. A fine opener for what it was. (2.5/5)

Next up - Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules in a battle of the full nelsons. Haynes reminds me of Rick Boogz or Elias in that he's a big hulking dude with a great physique and the ability to do impressive power moves. Hercules is also that. This isn't as good as the opener from a technical perspective, but unlike that match, this seems to have more of a storyline purpose for happening and the crowd is definitely engaged. My sole complaint was the half-assed finish, which saw Haynes apply on his Full Nelson on the outside of the ring to lead to a double countout. During the post-match, Hercules bloodied Haynes, which I wasn't expecting this early on the show, but, hey, Vince was still permissive of a little bit of "color" back then. All in all, not a terrible match, but certainly not a mat classic. This served its purpose. (2.5/5)

Next up - a six-man tag with King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrook taking on Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid, and Little Beaver. This was a mostly "comedy" match as the two big men were tagged up with a pair of little people each. This match went less than 5 minutes, which was all it needed to be. King Kong Bundy got good heat by going after the "midgets" (as they were referred to on commentary), but this was a one-note match. Bob Eucker added some extra humor from the booth, though I'm guessing much of it went over the head of any 6 year olds who were watching this (I know it went over my head when I was a kid). A point-and-a-half for not overstaying its welcome and the fact that the crowd was more into this than future "midget" matches the WWE presented in the 90s. (1.5/5)

King Harley Race took on The Junkyard Dog in a match where the loser would have to bow to the winner. The crowd is into the fanfare and nobody takes a clothesline over the top rope better than Harley Race, but this is too short to be considered "good." It goes 4 minutes or so, but feels like half of that because so little actually happens. I wasn't expected a mat classic between these two, but this felt about as bare bones and rushed as a match could as the fanfare, arrival, and post-match nonsense seemed to last longer than the actual match. (0.5/5)

The Dream Team of Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine (accompanied to the ring by Dino Bravo and Johnny Valiant) took on The Fabulous Rougeaus in the next match. I'm a big fan of The Rougeaus, but at this point, they seemed to basically be "rookies" and were doing none of the shtick that made them one of the best tag teams of the 80s. The Rougeaus got to show off a little bit of their tag team prowess and good-for-the-time acrobatics, but this was too short to tell a story and I didn't see any similar chemistry between Beefcake and Valentine. Dino Bravo got involved to help the heels steal the win but they half-turned on Beefcake after the match. Nothing special here. (0.5/5)

The next match was billed as "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Farewell Match and actually got 3-and-a-half stars from Dave Meltzer somehow as the Rowdy Scot takes on Adrian Adonis. I'm not sure if Dave was just a big mark for Piper or for Adonis or if he was just caught up in the story of this match (and it being Piper's last...for a couple years at least), but this was nowhere near what a 3-and-a-half star match would be in 2023 or even 1993. This is very straightforward with Piper basically manhandling the heels until Adonis gets in a cheap shot or two and slows things, applying a headlock to draw heat. Piper doesn't even wrestle out as Adonis believes he has won the match and just releases it. I get that the heel is supposed to be stupid, but this was lame. Piper applies a (weak-looking) headlock of his own. Brutus Beefcake shows up and revives Piper, which had me wondering if, with Piper leaving, Vince already had it in mind to have Brutus "take over" in a sense as the arrogant, loudmouth babyface (eventually leading to him having his own barbershop segment similar to Piper's Pit but, y'know, not nearly as good). Beefcake and Piper celebrate the match by shaving Adonis' head (as per the stipulation). It is very generous when people consider this a show highlight as I didn't find any of it to be entertaining or suspenseful or even all that much fun. (1.5/5)

A 6-man tag follows as The Hart Foundation and Danny Davis (with Jimmy Hart) take on the babyface team of Tito Santana and The British Bulldogs. Based on what I read, this was supposed to be a World Tag Team Championship match (the Hart Foundation held the gold) but because The Dynamite Kid was injured, this was changed to a 6-man. It seems to me to have been the right call as Danny Davis is absolutely loathed by the Detroit crowd. I wasn't expecting stupendous action and I didn't get any, though there are definitely glimpses at what these six guys could really do. Back then, WrestleMania just wasn't a place where you were going to get 10+ minute epics outside of the main event and maybe one other match on a 3-hour show. I also was not a fan of Mary Hart's commentary as she seemed pretty unfamiliar with the performers (at one point noting that she would've cheered for the Hart Foundation, but they had Jimmy Hart as a manager...which would make more sense if Bret and Jim had been popular babyfaces prior to working as a heel team, but that's not really the case). This was better than the match before it and, running close to 9 minutes, this at least got some time even if it was still worked so briskly that it felt rushed and abridged. (2.5/5)

Butch Reed and Koko B. Ware only get 4 minutes, but its not a terrible four minutes. Having now watched considerably more of both guys' work from the 80s, I'd argue that if you have only seen Reed's later work in WCW (as part of the Doom team) and Koko's WWE work in the 90s, you may be sleeping on two guys that could really do much more than their latter, more one-dimensional roles required of them. This brief match was designed to "cool down" the crowd after the 6-man and Piper's match but I kinda wish this had been positioned earlier on the card and they'd have been given 2-3 more minutes to actually tell a story. (1/5)

What can be written about Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Championship that has already been written? Its a classic match, considerably ahead of its time, and, in terms of sheer historic importance, is probably among the top 5-10 most important matches in WWE history. This is the match that made Savage a star and set him on the course to become a top babyface for the company within a year. This is the match that made countless fans take notice of a new style of wrestling that the WWE had not really emphasized or spotlighted before - a style that was more fast-paced, featured more counters and nearfalls, and featured two more agile workers that mixed in-ring grappling with high-risk maneuvers. Over 30 years later, this match may not amaze modern viewers as much as it did when it was just a decade or two decades old - but flawless execution, beautiful arm drags, and brilliant storytelling that calls back to a months-long rivalry never go out of style. At a little under 15 minutes, this match may seem almost too short for its legend, but context matters. While lengthy championship matches were more of the norm in the NWA, the WWE offered a flashier, punchier product during the Rock n' Wrestling era. Its not that the wrestlers themselves were incapable of longer matches (its important to remember that nearly every one of the WWE's big stars in the 80s had been poached from territories where they had regularly done just that), but that stylistically, Vince believed the more mainstream audience preferred a simplified product that delivered the bells-and-whistles through outrageous characters, colorful entrances, and larger-than-life physiques. While Savage and Steamboat both had the magnetism to capture the audience with just their personalities, this match transcended the "house style" of the WWE of the time with its tempo and suspenseful nearfalls. Savage is particularly awesome in this match; I love how his offense is built around somewhat "cheap" offense like attacking from behind or tossing Steamboat out of the ring. As others have said over the years, I kinda wish the lead-up to the finish - which sees Savage attempt to cheat by using the bell on the Dragon - was captured or executed better to make it clear that Savage inadvertently struck himself with the weapon, but its a minor complaint. My bigger complaint is that Savage gets a visual pin, a decision that always struck me as undermining Steamboat's win. I'm not sure if this was a Vince idea or a Savage one, but its an element that, whenever I see it, always makes me wonder why it happened, especially as they didn't really need it in order for Savage to still get a series of rematches. Could it be that Vince was already eyeing Savage as a potential babyface star? Regardless, in a match this famously and intricately planned, it is a bit of a head scratcher. (4.5/5)

Jake Roberts took on The Honky Tonk Man in the next match. They get a considerable amount of time and Roberts' offense looks great and the Honky Tonk Man gets a ton of heat and Alice Cooper is there and...this match suffered from following an all-time classic more than anything else. In fact, minute for minute, it might even be the second best match of the night. Honky Tonk Man was never a great worker, but his job was to bump and sell and feed and get his butt kicked and, when on offense, to bore the crowd and make them want to see him get beaten up (which he does very well, even if it is a bit boring). The post-match offers a crowd-pleasing moment as Jake and Alice Cooper scare off Jimmy Hart with the snake. This match gets a bad rap (check out its woeful Cagematch score), but is perfectly fine sports-entertainment. (2.5/5)

A true "filler" match follows as Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik take on The Killer Bees. This match was designed just to get the crowd going with anti-Soviet and anti-Iranian jeering. Jim Duggan stops Volkoff from singing the Soviet National Anthem and then says he did it because the US is the home of the free. Yeah, that doesn't really track...Anyway, this isn't a great match, but what would one expect from the four men involved? I'm sure the Bees had some good matches in their day, but I'm not versed enough in their careers to be able to name any. Volkoff and Sheik always struck me as oafish, one-dimensional and boring. The story here was really all about Duggan on the outside. A DQ finish wrapped this one up and prolonged the rivalry, but this just felt cheap and gimmicky. (0.5/5)

Main event time - Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant for Hulk Hogan's WWE World Championship. One of the most iconic and memorable matches of all time, fans of workrate and impactful offense and technical wrestling and flawless execution will not be impressed, but the atmosphere of this match is enough to make it a "must watch" for anyone who considers themselves a truly "student of the game." Watching this, you can see the blueprint for future Hogan matches between himself and Warrior and even Hogan/Rock from WrestleMania 17, though I'd consider those better matches because even the Ultimate Warrior was more capable of putting on a good match than Andre was at this point. Supposedly the Giant was drunk during this match, but he doesn't look wasted in that sense of the word. Rather, he looks lethargic and pained. Hailed as the Immovable Object, Andre moves like he'd been dipped in concrete. Its unbelievable to think that Andre would continue to "wrestle" for three more years, but then again, his sheer size and even the slightest bit of offense out of him did look devastating when sold correctly (as Hogan does here). This is just as much as a Hogan carry job as any other famous man-wrestles-broomstick match, though Hogan isn't a wise enough worker to make this truly great. The best moments are the staredown and nearfall that start the match and the legendary bodyslam that basically ends it, but aside from that, the action is pretty thin and some of it looks outright poor. The work on the outside is atrocious and Hogan taking off the ringside padding came across as heelish to me (and also very, very stupid as there's no way anybody was capable of piledriving Andre the Giant). Andre's bearhug is sold well by the Hulkster but still feels like a rest break in a match that barely lasts 10 minutes. Despite these criticisms, though, the crowd was into every single second of this. Plus, as has been the case for much of the night, Jesse Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon's commentary, while hyperbolic, is tremendously entertaining, creating a whole package that is much greater than the sum of its parts. (3/5)


WrestleMania III may not have a super high Kwang Score - a 2-out-of-5 would suggest its actually mostly underwhelming - but this show stands the test of time not because the in-ring action is uniformly terrific from beginning to end, but because it is the blueprint for all future WrestleManias and easily the best overall WrestleMania of the first four. It also feels like a bigger show than either of the Manias before it, the setting and production fully "leveled up" from the somewhat unremarkable looks of the first two. There are some outright poor matches on the show - the Junkyard Dog/Harley Race and the "piss break" tag match before the main event are low points - but none overstay their welcome. I wasn't super into the Piper/Adonis match, but the crowd certainly was and I could see the argument that, in terms of "sports entertainment," it works. The Savage/Steamboat match is an all-time classic and would be a career match for either guy...if either guy didn't have multiple other all-time classics on their resume. The main event feels like the biggest "spectacle" match of all time even if it doesn't live up to the immense hype (something that would've been near impossible even if Andre was still in good health and Hogan was a super worker). 

FINAL RATING - Watch It



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